His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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