Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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