So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
