I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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