Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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