Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize