she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
