if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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