i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
