Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
