So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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