Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
