well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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