I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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