There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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