she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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