i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
try to milk me bitch
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
