You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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