The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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