ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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