she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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