escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
