well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
