im about as happy as oj after his trial
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
