I want to stick my p in your. b.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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