Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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