kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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