Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
