I think i sorta joined a cult last night
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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