Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
