Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize