did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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