Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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