he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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