Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That's intense
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
