I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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