You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
