On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
