He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize