I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
