god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
