your thong is hanging out like whoa
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
