Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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