Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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