Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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