Life is so much better after having sex.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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