lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
