ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize