I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
