Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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