NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize