is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he thought i was a dude.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
