Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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