I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
