Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
