I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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